Week 7 College Football Predictions: OU Weekend Is Upon Us

Week 7 College Football Predictions: OU Weekend Is Upon Us

Sorry, BYU. Get to the back of the line. 

Week 6 record 5-2, Season record: 28-13

Well, last week was certainly exciting. If you parleyed TCU, Auburn and the entire states of Utah, Arizona, and Mississippi, well, nice job. The rankings got absolutely flamboozled after last week. The use of a fake word here underscores my point about how crazy week 6 was. ELEVEN top 25 teams and FIVE top 10 teams lost, including #2, #3, and #4. Chaos! CHAOS, I SAY! At least you have me here to break things down for you, or you might be really lost in all this. Luck you.  

TCU 35 - Baylor 24

I was at least smart enough to stay away from predicting last week's game where TCU came out of absolutely nowhere (read: 3 games against terrible teams) to shock Oklahoma (read:probably overrated. This week will be a little tougher at Baylor. But Baylor looked pretty shaky against Texas last week. Bryce Petty completed seven passes last week....SEVEN! I completed eight passes walking to Whataburger this afternoon. I do think OU was a little overrated for most of the early year, but TCU looked pretty solid regardless. Baylor's offensive struggles combined with a balanced TCU team should lead to another upset in the Big 12 this weekend.

Miss St 38 - Auburn 34

Auburn just demolished LSU, Mississippi State just clobbered Texas A&M (I really enjoyed that, btw), and their rewards for making it to #2 and #3 in the polls is to immediately play each other and have one of them get bounced out to the back of the line. The flipside is that the winner of this game should really be #1 ahead of a very questionable FSU team who is struggling in every game against inferior competition. Crushing Wake Forest doesn't count. The Bulldogs have looked a little more consistent and balanced than Auburn, but this game could really go either way. 

Ole Miss 42 - Texas A&M 37

Well, it was a nice run, Aggies. Unfortunately, the schedule might actually get HARDER after their game last week. Bo Wallace brings the frat swoop hair to College Station and Kenny Trill might need to look for a new nickname if things go poorly two weeks in a row. I hope A&M fans enjoyed the past few years, because every loss puts Kevin Sumlin that much closer to the NFL. I hear the Raiders might be looking for a new coach.....MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oregon 30 - UCLA 21

I swear last Thursday I was going to write a piece on how Oregon always loses one game a year that they just have no business losing. Then I wake up on Friday and find out that they stole my thunder by losing to an Arizona team that is 5 and 0, but has also only beaten UTSA, Nevada, and California by a combined 14 points. Thanks, Oregon. UCLA meanwhile took FOREVER to lose, making me look like a jackass for the whole damn season while they kept winning. Oregon is probably a top 15 team moving forward, while I expect UCLA to continue the struggle parade.

LSU 20 - Florida 13

We are at DEFCON Muschamp level 1 here, folks. Florida's football team reminds me of a car trying to outrun the police while a fire is spreading from both ends. This just won't end well, no matter what. Beating Tennessee 10 to 9 doesn't inspire much confidence. And when you add on several off the field incidents, it looks an awful lot like Fast Willie Muschamp has lost control of the car, er, team here. LSU, on the other hand is the perfect example of a team on the right track. If the right track were alcoholism, despair, and having your mom pay your cell phone bill when you're 30. Get it together, Les Miles. Go eat some grass and call more fake punts!

Texas Football

Awww yiss. Suck it, OU!

Haha you guys remember that picture up there? Yeah man, that was awesome. That girl was so sad, and stupid OU lost by like a million points. Stupid sooners!

Somebody call the WHAAAMBULANCE!

God, what a LOSER! Look how sad his dumb little face is! OU fans will seemingly cry at anything. How pathetic.

Oh, what? You want to talk about this year's game? Naaaaaa, lets find more pictures!!!

Picha con chutu, Sooners. Ho ho ho hoooo.

Whaaaaaat, somebody combined OU with the disgusting, evil crimelord Jabba The Hutt? That is so PERFECT! This is great, I could do this all day.

Seriously? You want to hear about this year? What about the Texas State Fair????

GODDAMN TEXAS MADE AND TEXAS PROUD!

Fine, fine. We'll talk about this year.... Look, what happened last week against Baylor could very easily be what happens every game the rest of this year. Unless you're Kansas, you probably have an offense that can score upwards of 13 points, which is about all you need to beat us. I might as well copy/paste what I wrote last week, but anyways: Our defense will keep things close in the first half, but our offense will struggle the whole game and sometime in the 3rd quarter, after one of our 3 and outs on offense, Dalton Santos will look to the sidelines with a single tear in his eye and say "I'm sorry, I think I actually died 20 minutes ago from exhaustion. I can't stop anymore runs" And we will lose badly. BUT. There's also a chance that OU pulls a page out of their playbooks from last year and runs a gameplan that utilizes all their weaknesses and lets us a score a bunch of times for no reason. Bob Stoops is sometimes dumb like that. No matter what happens though, it will be 4pm at the Texas State Fair and OU will still suck. Hook 'em (next year mostly)

Oklahoma 34 - Texas 10