Week 9 College Football Predictions. Oh. My. God. Becky, look at that prediction.

Week 9 College Football Predictions. Oh. My. God. Becky, look at that prediction. 

This really shouldn't be working. But it is.

Week 8 record: 5-2, season record: 38-16

When I wrote this last week, I was worried I might not be giving A&M enough credit. I knew things were getting bad over there, but I never expected that Kevin Sumlin would suffer the first shutout of his CAREER. I'll leave A&M alone this weekend and instead focus on the glorious empire that Nick Saban has created. The roster for this year's team, like those before it, is basically the top 25 list from the rivals 2013 recruiting class. Reloading is an understatement for Saban, and this year it extends even beyond players. Lane Kiffin was perhaps the biggest joke in football for several years. Head Coach for the Oakland Raiders, failed, fired, fled town. Head Coach of the Tennessee Volunteers, is now the most hated person in the history of the state of Tennessee. Head Coach at USC, literally taken off the bus after a game and fired in the airport after his 3rd season. Offensive coordinator at Alabama, star playcaller, loved by all.....WHAT???? The level of success of this program in terms of wins, personnel, and money is astounding. 

Utah (whatever) - USC (Meh)

This might be the most worthless game between two ranked teams in history. Who'll win? Well who really cares. Utah's probably going to run some plays, and then USC will probably try to stop them from accomplishing too much with those plays. Then USC will get the ball and I can only assume they'll try to score points. Utah won't like this very much and will try to discourage them. Punts, sure, turnovers, maybe. If anybody is actually going to watch this game, it's only in hopes that USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden, will do something crazy. He's got a decent record on the season. Earlier in the year he actually left the press box, went down to the sideline, and started arguing with the officiating crew! This man is on the committee that decides the playoff teams. Let that sink in for a second. And last week, during a game, he actually kicked out one of the more famous alums of USC, Lendale White, for criticizing the team on Twitter. Quote from Lendale on the aftermath:

"Nobody has reached out, but that's all right," he said. "I'm just the all-time leading scorer at the university."

Top lol. Oh, and Utah 30 - USC 26, for what it's worth.

Mississippi State 42 - Kentucky 13

Kentucky seemed to be on the right track this year to make some noise in the East, but that LSU loss is doing for Kentucky what Sarah Palin did to John Mccain. Complete loss of respect from the nation. They're still talented, and we'll see how they rebound here. But the Bulldogs aren't going to take it easy on them in their home stadium. Maybe next year, Wildcats. 

Michigan State 45 - Michigan 10

What can I say about this game that hasn't already been said U2's most recent album? Terrible, past their prime, smelly. The Big 10 might as well be a mid-major conference this year. They're so far out of the spotlight they're starting to look like Gollum. Michigan is leading the charge for them, just in the wrong direction. If you were ever curious how to NOT get a program back to relevance, go read Brady Hoke's book, which I assume is titled "How I Lost Everything and Then Never Got Any of It Back". 

West Virginia 48 - OSU 28

Oh Tricky Trickett, how I underestimated you. The Mountaineers' victory over Baylor was the second best thing that happened last weekend. #1 being the thirst-quenching tears of Aggie fans. Anyway, I should have known better than to doubt the man who bragged about kissing Nick Saban's daughter and wasn't immediately smited by a fireball from the pits of hell. The Cowboys are looking like the definition of mediocre after getting dismantled by TCU last weekend. This is actually their EASIEST game for the rest of the year as they close out with Kansas State, Texas, Baylor, and Oklahoma. Only that Texas game is at home for them. Helloooooooo, Big 12 basement. 

Ole Miss 38 - LSU 27

I don't honestly know what to make of LSU this season. They've had the most confusing season of any team in recent history. Big comeback victory at a neutral site? Check. Consecutive shutouts of creampuff teams? Check. Blowout losses in primetime games against SEC West competition? Check. Domination of a half-way decent Kentucky team? Check. So, what the hell are they going to do this weekend? Well, your guess is as good as mine. I don't believe they'll win here, but if they do it's just another checkmark on the list of wild and zany things that Les Miles has accomplished this year. Ole Miss is the superior team, but I don't trust the Mad Hatter to tank EVERY conference game this year.

Texas Football

WE CAN STILL WIN THE BIG 12! It's mathematically possible, just listen to me. If we win out, TCU loses to Kansas State, Baylor loses to OU and Kansas State, Kansas State loses to us and West Virginia, and West Virginia loses to TCU, and OU, Oklahoma loses to Ok State (rivalry game, always crazy), and...well...probably like 4 other things that I can't think of...BUT, still a chance! Ok, so it's not likely, but it's at least possible. The part we can control, winning out, is at least more likely than it was 3 weeks ago. The offense finally has some identity, and besides the hiccup against Iowa State, our defense has played phenomenal. Now, Kansas State has been incredibly successful against us over the past 10 years or so, but we beat them last year so that helps some. Remember that Auburn went into Manhatten and played a very poor game but escaped with a win. That's unlikely to happen again, but Kansas State is riding pretty high right now and maybe we can sneak in under the radar and surprise them. Just remember, if we don't win the Big 12, it's because YOU didn't believe in the team enough. You know who you are.

Texas 31 - Kansas State 28