2016 Pre-Season Desires

2016 Pre-Season Desires

Welcome back.

2015 Week 3 College Football Predictions

2015 Week 3 College Football Predictions

"Hey Jerrod Heard, do you wanna come to Texas and be the savior of the program?"

"Yeah, sure. That sounds cool."

2015 Season Record 9-2

Well last weekend was quite the rollercoaster. Virginia, Tennessee, Jacksonville State, East Carolina, and Arkansas State all failed to pull off the upset and give us some early season fun. Toledo, however, pretty much ruined the Arkansas Hype Train. Ohio State is still solid, although there may be a controversy brewing at quarterback. Michigan State out-greened Oregon, but it was a good game and I think they're both top 10 teams the rest of the season. Ole Miss hasn't really played anybody amazing, but they're averaging 70 points a game right now, so keep an eye on them. And Texas did some good things! 

2015 Week 2 College Football Predictions

2015 Week 2 College Football Predictions

Damn, offensive line. Do you even block?

2015 Season Record 6-0

Oh sweet baby jesus, this is going to be a long season. More Texas analysis below, but let's just get some of this out of the way. This season is going to HURT. Everybody buckle up and prepare yourself right now for misery. 2016 should (maybe?) be better, but probably not a whole lot. We're in for quite the rebuilding effort here. Ok, now the rest of college football. It's incredibly unfair that Ohio State has two legitimate quarterbacks who could run two different kinds of offenses and be successful no matter what, AND they get Braxton Miller who can apparently do this:

2015 Season Kickoff Extravaganza

2015 Season Kickoff Extravaganza

Praise Tebow

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!?!?

You're damn right it's football time. Nice job, reader. It's been at least 3 years since the last season ended, and a lot has changed in that time. Ohio State? A goddamn NFL team. Baylor? Scum. A&M? still not sure if they want to sit at the big boy table or with the kids. Texas? OUR TEAM IS FINE, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE!

2014 Season record 64-33 (not counting bowls, which is good, because I was wrong a lot)

Week 14 College Football Predictions: Rivalry Week

Week 14 College Football Predictions: Rivalry Week

I played you in high school. I hate you.

Week 13: 7-2, Season Record 58-29

I write this to you all from my family's home in Bastrop, Texas. We have a full house this year, cousins, aunts, uncles, BABIES! There's a lot of people here and it's great. I'm so glad to spend this time with my family, and I hope everyone gets a chance this week to spend time with someone they love. Rivalry week has brought plenty of Thanksgiving presents for us all here. The states of Georgia, Florida, Arizona, Oregon, Texas, Mississippi, and Alabama all have games this week with national impact. And much like our college football counterparts, my brother, cousins, and I will be taking out a whole year of pent-up aggression through a rivalry tradition of our own. N64 Goldeneye.

Week 13 College Football Predictions: The Forgotten Week

Week 13 College Football Predictions: The Forgotten Week

Week 12: 3-2, Season Record 51-27 

Guys, sorry I'm late. At least this week is pretty boring for games. Kansas State already beat WVU on Thursday, and nobody in the top 5 plays a meaningful game. The best game between two ranked teams might be USC vs UCLA, so no, there is no best ranked game this week. Which is why I wanted to take a second to highlight my favorite mascot in college sports, the the Stanford Tree. Some of you may not be aware, but the Stanford Tree is a tradition started by the Stanford band due in large part to the fact that Stanford hasn't ever  gotten around to deciding on an official mascot. So in 1975, a bunch of drunk college kids threw some green leafy substances on a costume and paraded around the band section. Trust me, this is not the craziest thing they've done. The tree has only gained in notoriety since its inception. Though it's all good natured fun, the Stanford Tree seems to have become everyone's friend that gets way too drunk and then you're worried for the rest of the night where they wandered off to. For me though, it's one of the few mascots that I actively look for during any sporting event. 

Week 12 College Football Predictions: Judgment Day

Week 12 College Football Predictions: Judgment Day

I'm so much better than you.

Week 10: 3-5, Season Record 48-25 (my first week with a losing record, I might add)

The circle is now complete. Alabama was my original championship pick and they've finally arrived at the Great Moment of Judging, as I am calling the Mississippi State game. Really this weekend will define a lot of team's seasons. Auburn needs a win to have any remote chance of making the playoffs, while Georgia could somehow lose the East with a loss at home. Ohio State, as irrelevant as I'd prefer them to remain, could still sneak in if they demolish the next few teams they play. Duke, of all teams, has arisen as our potential savior in the Can Anyone Prevent FSU From Playing More Football contest we've been playing all year. FSU, still allowing a serial rapist, a man who beat his pregnant girlfriend, and several other #Creminoles to keep playing, by the way. The Big 12 gets a break this weekend with no games of national significance happening. And finally, Texas fights for bowl eligibility against an Oklahoma State team who seems to have played most of this season drunk.